So I've recently had a revelation. And since this is the only real "blogging" I ever do, I'm going to share with you all. And once I'm finished I will probably never check my dA again until I feel like writing a new "blog". But back to this revelation I had.

Since my last journal update, I have been through a lot. And by that, I mean, I have grown and learned SO MUCH because of the one person who loves me more than anything in the world: Jesus. If you have a problem with that, stop reading and go look at some art. So about a year ago I fell in love with this guy. From the very beginning of the relationship I heard God saying to surrender this boy to him. So I did. Or I thought I did, at least. It was recently revealed to me through a very close and trusted friend that, while I thought I had surrendered this boy to Jesus, I fell in love with him anyways. Oops. No, scratch that. BIG OOPS.

Sorry, Jesus, my bad.

I really thought I had surrendered the whole damn situation and was holding it with open hands, ready to accept whatever God had in store. I hadn't even thought that falling in love with him, despite what God had told me to do, would be more damaging to my heart than never loving him in the first place. The best thing about it, though? God is entirely faithful, and would never leave me broken hearted. Because, through that entire learning-to-be-okay-with-being-broken phase, God was preparing my heart for this amazing revelation: that Jesus loves, loves, LOVES me far more than this boy ever could. No joke. Pretty fantastic, right? And, what's even more fantastic is that since God revealed this to me, I've come to realize that I don't particularly love this boy anymore. Because, up until this revelation, I still loved him to a certain extent. And I just don't anymore. It's awesome. Yes, I will always have a certain....fondness for him in my heart (he was my first love, after all, and I do remember the good times). But, I am finally free of the weight I felt when I was pining for him. Hooray.

In my last update, I wrote that I was excited to see what the next six months had in store for me. Those six months were rather upsetting at times, but totally worth it and I wouldn't trade them for anything. And the next season of life is going to be even more promising. Because my Jesus wants nothing more than to be first in my life, ahead of all other thoughts, wants and needs. It is my personal declaration to put my Jesus first in my life. It's tough, no doubt, but it's going to be worth it.

See y'all next time 'round!
Loves to all of your faces <3

Kacy